Spring Break
by BatThing
Summary: New Chapter, again whoo-hoo! Yep, a few good one-liners, like: Drat a rat. Tee-hee-hee... erhm. Read and Review!
1. Chapter One

Spring Break:  
  
By: Casity  
"Three scoops please."  
  
Dick Grayson fumbled with his wallet, rethinking what Barbara had said to the ice-cream man. At the moment that the girl's words sunk in, he lifted his head in protest. "Three? Babsy, you do know that ice cream makes you fat."  
  
"Hahaha! Obese! You know there is medical help for that condition!" Tim Drake let out as he swirled his tongue around the blue ice cream that sat pleasantly on top the cone. "I learned that in Health." He added with a twinkle in his eyes.  
  
The girl seemed shocked as she accepted the ice cream cone with three even layered scoops. "Excuse me, did you two just call me fat?"  
  
"No we called you obese."  
  
Dick wisely remained anonyms as he paid for the three ice-cream cones for each.  
  
"Ok, wait, do I look obese to you?"  
  
"Don't go all anthraxic on me."  
  
"Anthraxic? Tim, do you mean anorexic?"  
  
The boy paused and looked up at the girl. "What did I say?"  
  
"Anthraxic. you said anthraxic." She let out, pointing an accusing finger at the youth. "That's not even a word."  
  
"Excuse me, yes it is! Ever hear of the band? Not to mention that poison stuff."  
  
Barbara looked away, and sighed. "Lets go find Bruce and Alfred. they'll be wondering."  
  
Dick nodded, snarfing a bite of his cone down. "Not to mention Alfred may need help calming the beast to stay put on not high-tail it back home."  
  
The three blinked and looked at the ocean that panted lightly a few feet away. There seemed to be hundreds of people all around, playing in the sand and swimming in the cool ocean.  
  
It was warm out, and the three wore their bathing suits with a clear mind.  
  
As the three passed by whistles were focused at Barbara who walked, licking tenderly at her ice cream, innocence apparent all over her face.  
  
"I really shouldn't have worn this suit, it tends to attract unwanted attention." Dick let out, smoothing his suit, a wicked grin spread about his face.  
  
Barbara turned around, glaring with hate. "Shut up, and walk a few feet away. I don't want you to ruin my chances."  
  
"Your chances were ruined the moment you decided to be-friend us." Dick replied as he slipped his arm around the girl, and kissed her on the lips.  
  
"Mhpf!" The girl smashed her ice cream over the head of her kisser, and moved back with great speed.  
  
"Oh yeah, that's the way to get rid of unwanted attention!" Tim screamed as Barbara wiped her sticky hands over Dick's bare chest.  
  
The girl chuckled. "Nice move Grayson, next step."  
  
Dick, being the good sport he was, smiled with the love of none other, then grabbed the girl by the wrists. "Tim, get her feet."  
  
The boy whimpered as he licked at the bottom of his cone, trying to save the melting ice cream before it was to late. "But, I am eating!"  
  
"Let me go you idiot!"  
  
"Tim, I'll buy you ten cones, just grab her feet and do as I say!" Dick snarled with a force that caused Tim to do as he said without question.  
  
"Ok, feet are a- oph." Barbara's foot slammed into his stomach. "A go." He coughed.  
  
The two dragged the screaming girl across the beach, towards the water. She screamed as if she was being murdered the whole way.  
  
"My dad is the commissioner you two! I will see you in jail for this!"  
  
"Are you going too?" Tim questioned.  
  
"What?"  
  
"You said you would see us in jail. do you- oh never mind."  
  
They were about ready to toss her in, when Dick felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned his head, and frowned at a tanned blonde man, white teeth sparkling. "Is there a problem here?"  
  
"YES! Make them put me down!"  
  
Dick made a sour face. "Go away."  
  
"Excuse me, this you lady says she doesn't want to be thrown in, that means 'no' buster." The man explained, shaking his head, and tightening his grip on Dick's shoulder.  
  
"You see that kid over there." Dick asked, nodding to where Tim stood, looking with questioning eyes at the sky. "He'll bite you if you don't leave."  
  
The man snorted. "I'll sue. just put the girl down."  
  
"Just put the girl down!" Dick mocked, snarling at Barbara who smiled up at him. "No!" Then with that he threw her in the wave. It would have worked beautifully had Tim known to let go, yet instead he to was carried into the wet wave, and practically drowned by a freaked out Barbara who forced him under her.  
  
"Eee! Grayson!"  
  
"Yes baby?" Dick asked, cocking his head. "You were asking for it barb, 'Miss. I am so much better than you'. Don't go throwing a fit."  
  
The blonde man snorted. "I told you not to throw her in, did I not?" He puffed out his chest, and raised his head, showing his full height.  
  
Tim gasped for air as he surfaced, spitting out a line of water from his mouth, and pushing Barbara off him, "Gwack. get off! Get off!" A long string of seaweed covered his head.  
  
Dick blinked at the man before him. "Listen, she is with us, no need to get all mean. I don't think that there is any fight here other than the one you are starting, sir."  
  
"You are asking for it with that critical tone buster."  
  
"Critical? Listen, I just was telling you that she is my friend, we are practically brother and sister."  
  
"So is that why you kissed her? I don't trust you!" The man shoved Dick back, taunting him ever so plainly.  
  
"Ok, sorry I tossed her in. I shouldn't have done it. even if I wanted to like none other because she smashed a freakin' ice cream cone on top of my head."  
  
Barbara slowly stood, and held her hands up. "Grayson, you earned that ice cream head. But he is right, they are with me. no fight here." She batted her eyelashes, causing Tim and Dick to gag.  
  
"Ok, only if you are sure."  
  
"Sure I am sure, thank you for your help." Barbara waved much like a little girl as he walked away.  
  
Dick, who watched her act, shook his head. "What a blonde act."  
  
"Excuse me, I just spared your butt from some major beating."  
  
Dick offered Tim his hand as he wadded into the water. "Not really, I could have taken him." He snorted as Tim accepted the helping hand, and pulled him to his feet.  
  
Barbara sighed as she watched the older boy duck his head into the fresh water, ridding himself of the sticky ice cream with great ease. Her blue eyes watched as Tim ran down the beach. "Yeah, whatever. hey Tim, where are you going?!"  
  
The boy turned around, waving his hand at her. "Karaoke, come on!"  
  
"Karaoke. what does." She raced after him, leaving Dick still talking.  
  
"I could have, you know me and my dashing muscle take any woman without a chance. I am irresistible baby." He flipped his head up, and his wet, long, hair smacked him in the face. He cleared it away with a short chuckle and opened his eyes to see three girls looking at him with disgust.  
  
The blonde snorted, and pointed to her nose. "You have something right here."  
  
Dick swiped at his nose, and blushed as a piece of seaweed landed at his feet. "Thanks." He looked around for Tim and Barbara and sighed. Bruce had asked him to watch Tim. He began walking down the beach. "Oh well, Barb is with him, I suppose nothing can happen. Besides Tim is old enough to make his own choices." 


	2. Chapter Two

Chapter Two:  
  
"Tim! What are you doing?!"  
  
Tim looked down offstage to where his friend stood. "I plan to sing Barb... don't worry... I used to do this all the time back in the day."  
  
"I am sure you did." The girl grunted as she watched Tim prance onstage. "Dare I wonder what he is singing..." She moved away, planning to hide from him until he was done. That way he couldn't call her onstage or anything stupid.  
  
She lifted her hand to shield the sunrays from her eyes and she sighed, looking around for Dick. The music to 'I'm A Believer' suddenly filled the air, and Barbara blushed from instinct.  
  
"At least he can't do anything terrible with this one. Where did Dick go?"  
  
"Hey all." Tim yelled to the crowd. "This is a remix to Smash mouth's remix of their first remix of the Monkee's 'I'm a Believer!' Hope you all enjoy." Then with that he began to sing.  
  
"I thought Algebra was meant for geeks...  
  
Meant for someone else, but not for me.  
  
The teachers were out to get me,  
  
That's the way it seemed...  
  
Failure haunted all my dreams.  
  
Then I got a tutor, now I'm a passing...  
  
Without a chance, of failing this class,  
  
I'm in love, ohhh, with Algebra,  
  
I couldn't leave it, though I try!  
  
"Alfred, is it just me, or does that sound like Tim over the speakers?" Bruce Wayne questioned as he lowered his sunglasses, blinking at the butler a few feet away.  
  
"It sounds a deal like the young master sir, but I doubt it is him..." Alfred hurried to say. He looked toward the stage a deal away, but couldn't make out the form. "I doubt it is him, Master Dick was with him... you gave them both instructions not to do anything rash. Especially after that terrible embarrassment with the press last month."  
  
Bruce nodded, glaring at the tea that Alfred had handed him. "We will see."  
  
"I thought Algebra was more or less a given thing,  
  
Seems the more I gave, the less I got, oh yeah.  
  
What's the use of trying?  
  
All I do is fail.  
  
When I wanted B's I got D's.  
  
Then I got a tutor, now I'm a passing...  
  
Without a chance, of failing my tests,  
  
I'm in love, with Algebra,  
  
I couldn't leave it, though I try!"  
  
"So I told him, 'Hey man, that's my coat.' And he turned around, and guess who it was..." Dick Grayson nodded to the group of girls around him.  
  
"We couldn't guess Dicky." One giggled.  
  
"Now get this, it was Humberto Ramos!" He lifted his head as Tim's voice flooded through the speakers.  
  
"Who is Ramos?" One girl questioned.  
  
"Umm, I have to go." Dick let out as he jumped up. "Nice taking to you though!" He growled as he raced down the shore.  
  
"What's the use of trying?  
  
All I do is fail.  
  
When I wanted B's I got D's.  
  
Then I got a tutor, now I'm a passing...  
  
Without a chance, of failing my tests,  
  
I'm in love, with Algebra,  
  
I couldn't leave it, though I try!  
  
Then I got a tutor, now I'm a passing...  
  
Without a chance, of failing my tests,  
  
I'm in love, with Algebra,  
  
I couldn't leave it, though I try!"  
  
Tim bowed as the crowd went wild with applause. He gave a small wave and tapped the microphone. "I'll be here all afternoon... that song was for Barbara Gordon! My tutor in math! But truth be told, I am still failing, so I think that maybe something is wrong."  
  
"Tim!" Barbara squeaked as she ducked down, hiding her face. 


	3. Chapter Three

Spring Break  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Batman characters nor the equation that girls are evil! Eep!  
  
Chapter Three:  
  
"Timothy Drake, Barbara Gordon, and Richard Grayson!"  
  
"I prefer Dick if you don't mind."  
  
Bruce Wayne's glare hardened and he pointed to where Tim stood. "I don't believe this, I thought you two were going to watch him! Was that such a hard job?"  
  
Barbara opened her mouth and then closed it. She scratched her head in thought and then nodded. "Well, apparently you couldn't handle it so you gave us the job. You think it's easy to watch that kid? He's all over the place, besides, you weren't publicly embarrassed! I was."  
  
"Oh right, like you didn't earn that," Dick sneered, "I for one would have been able to watch Tim just fine... it was just the small unforgivable fact that Barb was being a brat, so I left her alone to watch the kid."  
  
"Oh whatever Grayson!" The girl flipped her hair and gave a small pout. "I don't have to stand for this you know. It's not like you were paying me, and I am not your child. If you want to ask my advice then here it is!"  
  
"No one wants to hear your stupid advice Barb," Dick yelled.  
  
"You need to show Dick and Tim more discipline. You are way to soft on those two as it is! I mean, Tim is like, really hyper. There is medication for that sort of thing you know. It would probably help his grades too." The girl pulled at her purse and pulled out her wallet. "And you know what, it wouldn't hurt to buy Dick some medication to calm him down. I am most willing to fund this, so here."  
  
Bruce looked down at the crumpled one-dollar bill and shook his head. "I think I can afford it myself, thanks."  
  
"Good, I am a little broke at the moment," she shoved the money back into her purse and smiled faintly. "Just do what needs to be done Bruce!"  
  
"You really mean that?" He looked a little skeptical.  
  
"Of course, I'm behind your decisions all the way!" And then with that she kissed his cheek and began to run off. "Just as long as they don't include me! Bye!"  
  
Dick shook his fist in the air. "That little girl doesn't know who she is messing with!"  
  
Tim nodded his agreement. "You should call her dad and tell him what happened, I bet she would get into trouble then!"  
  
The man quirked an eyebrow at the suggestion, "I think Barbara is old enough to make her own choices."  
  
"And I'm not!? Think about what you are saying here Bruce! I'm older than that, that child." Dick gave his forehead a light smack. "You are unbelievable."  
  
"You want to know what is unbelievable, you disability to watch a thirteen year old."  
  
"I'm 15 Bruce."  
  
Dick fell to the ground laughing, he held to his sides as he shook from the violent laughter. "My disability! He may be my brother, buy you are his guardian! I at least know his age! Tee-hee-hee!"  
  
"Watch yourself Grayson, you are asking for trouble." Bruce turned to Tim, "I knew you were 15."  
  
"Right." Tim looked doubtful.  
  
"So what do you propose we do about this? You think we should just let it slide, pretend it didn't happen?" Bruce released a long sigh. "Well tough luck, this is one thing that might be considered the last straw."  
  
Dick grinned at the words. "That's what you said last time and it stank for a week."  
  
"Of course."  
  
"Oh! Oh Bruce guess what," Tim leapt up and down, "I read in the paper the other day that they found out that guy from the Backstreet Boy's, Nick Carter's, real first name! Guess what it is!"  
  
"Is this relevant?"  
  
"In an irrelevant way, but its Heartthrob Nick Carter!" Tim snapped both his fingers and then pointed at his mentor. "Get it? Heart Throb?!"  
  
"Tim," Bruce warned.  
  
Dick held his chin in a thoughtful way as he nodded. "Nice, glad you know the first name of the Backstreet Boys member. Actually I'm glad you know his name at all."  
  
"It's called grade school, hello!"  
  
"It's called you like the Backstreet Boys, like, duh," Dick mocked.  
  
"You are fat, you know that? I wasn't going to tell you, but you are fat!" Tim's face grew slightly red from his anger.  
  
"Well guess what Timb-o, I may be fat, but your ugly, and I can diet." Dick leapt up and turned in the air. "Gotcha!"  
  
Bruce held his head as if suffering from a headache, "ENOUGH!"  
  
"Sorry," they both chimed together and grew deathly silent.  
  
Bruce just stood; dwelling in the silence for a few moments until his eldest harshly interrupted it.  
  
"You know what, I think I figured something out for you Bruce! Ehm. First we state that girls require time and money. And as we all know "time is money." Therefore Girls equal money times money and that equals money squared. And because "money is the root of all evil", like the square root, therefore we conclude that girls equal the square root of evil squared, and you know what that equals? It equals evil!"  
  
"Why do you waste such precious time doing such stupid things?" Bruce sighed.  
  
"I'm just saying girls are evil."  
  
"I know."  
  
To be continued:  
  
To see Dick's equation go to: 


	4. Chapter Four

**_Spring Break:_**

Chapter Four

Tim pushed buried his toes into the warm sand and shivered at the tingle that ran through his body. The sun slowly burned his back, but he didn't bother to stop and consider. Sunscreen free, the way to be, at least at the moment considering it was easier getting burn than smearing the lotion all over.

"Tim, we are leaving, so stop goofing off and come over here to help pack up." Bruce growled as he folded his lawn chair. "I can't believe we actually came here."

"Aren't you going to even watch? Bruce, it's the ocean!" Tim kicked his feet, sending sand flinging about.

Bruce ducked, but didn't escape the shower of sand flying in the air. "Timothy!"

Tim burst into laughter and shrugged his shoulders, enjoying himself immensely. "Sorry, I was just trying to clean my feet!"

"Why bother?" Dick, who was taking down the umbrella, looked at his younger brother. "You are just going to get sandy feet once more, like this is a news flash!"

"What does he mean? Don't you have shoes?" Bruce searched the area, "where are your shoes?!"

"I lost them."

"How?!"

Tim placed a finger to his lips and winked at Dick. "It's a secret."

"No it's not," Bruce told him.

"I think it is, yes, it's a secret." Tim sounded confident.

"Don't make me say it twice."

"Oh," Tim bit his lip, "you're right, foolish me, it's not a secret-- the ocean ate them."

There was a silence that followed the statement. "What do you mean the ocean ate them? Tim, didn't Alfred just buy those flip-flops?"

Dick scoffed at the statement. "Oh come now, you just wasted enough gas bringing us here and for what? All you did was throw a fit and make us pack up to head home."

"That isn't relevant." Bruce told him quickly.

"You missed the point," Dick explained.

Tim considered this, "you know what you missed?"

"You," Dick told him self-assuredly. He then bent down and picked up the umbrella case. "I don't understand, how does this umbrella fit into this tiny case?"

Bruce ignored the boy, who hadn't bothered to unfold the umbrella and worked diligently at clearing the drinks from the sand.

Alfred, returning from the car, scurried over to the three boys. "Master Bruce and Richard, I though I explained that you don't need to help, I will take care of the mess."

"Oh! There is a button, you push the button, don't you!" Dick jerked at the umbrella, and there was a loud snap in which a few Alfred gasped.

The butler was horrified. "You broke the umbrella!"

"Hmm, perhaps, but now it will fit into it's case." Dick told him as he shoved it into the package.

To be continued:

_I plan to take these guys on a trip… hahahah… in the sand dunes!_


	5. Chapter Five

"Que Sera, Sera."

_**Spring Break:**_

By: The BatThing

**Chapter Five:**

"We're best friends."

Dick carefully turned his head to look at Tim, who was sitting beside him in the back seat of the car. "What did you just say?"

"You and me." Tim glanced at Bruce, and then leaned closer to Dick, whispering in his ear. "_You're my best friend!"_

"Eh, um, thanks?" Dick quickly scooted further away.

"Ok, this has been bothering me for some time now, so answer honestly." Tim took a deep breath, looking at Bruce. "What is up with this Pied Piper dude? I _don't_ get him."

"What are you talking about?" The man demanded.

"You know, he just – he keeps coming up in _conversation_. I just don't understand _how_ he is relevant. I mean – _who is he_?" The boy shook his head. "I keep asking people, but they never really answer my question."

Bruce sighed, and looked out the window.

At this, Tim bitterly replied. "You're just like the rest of them. I should have _known_."

Silence.

"Keep your secret. That's fine. I don't care. After all, it's not like you're _supposed_ to provide for my needs."

Silence.

"After all, you do feed and clothe me, I should be thankful for what I have, right?"

Bruce turned around, annoying beyond his limit. He closed his eyes and threw up his hands. "FINE! Fine, I'll tell you! The Pied Piper is a story! It's about a man who can lure rats and children away with his magical flute."

Tim shook his head. "A _flute_? That's kind of sad. Why didn't he play a pipe?"

The man covered his face. "I knew it!"

"Knew what?" Tim demanded, looking upset with the comment. "I resent that, I resent that more than I care to admit. Your words are hurtful."

"And your words are painful." Dick chimed with a little wave of his hand. He slipped and arm over Tim's neck and started to rub his younger brother's head affectionately. "You are a pain in the butt!"

"BRUCE! Help! I need help!"

Bruce shook his head, turning his head a little to look at the driver. "Alfred?"

"Sir?"

"Could we please pull over?" The man questioned. He was pleased when the car pulled to the side of the road, and opened the door getting out and motioning for Dick and Tim to do the same.

Tim looked around, then to Bruce, his expression one of confusion. "What are we doing stopped like this? I thought we were going home because the day didn't turn out like we wanted."

Dick was poking his foot at the ground, squinting at the sand, as if finding it extremely interesting. He didn't care to join the conversation, so he didn't. He just kept himself entertained with the natural things around him.

"You two can walk home. I'm sure you'll manage just fine."

At this Dick's head lifted. "Walk home!"

Bruce was already getting back in the car. He closed and locked the door, then rolled down the window slightly. "Yes, walk home. Here's some money, when you get into two buy Tim some flip flops … have fun, I'm sure you two will be just fine."

"You can't do this!" Tim yelled as the car pulled away. He ran a little after it, waving his arms wildly. "You can't do this!"

"Tim, he just did."

_To be continued …_

How's that, Mr. _Barbarian_. And I'm a girl, not a boy, not an 'it' … a girl! ;-)


End file.
